10 Tips For Loving In The Fast Lane

 Sometimes in the hustle of everyday life, it's easy to forget to tell our loved ones just what they mean to us.  But don't be put off as it doesn't have to take a lot of planning.  Love is in the little details that make up our lives.

Do you ever feel like you catch up with your partner infrequently, often late at night when you’re too tired to speak?  Or when your timetables happen to collide?  There are work dinners, school outings, sporting practice, dinners with friends, homework to supervise, household chores and so the list goes on.  Do you feel like you need to make a date night just to spend some one on one time with your other half?  Time when you’re not sleeping?  

If this sounds like you then I’m sure you will enjoy these tips for keeping each other close at heart, even if you can’t always be as physically close as you’d like.   

Its all about communicating and sharing the little things that make up our lives.  Here are ten easy ways to make your feelings known: 

1. Birthday love letter.  There is something powerful about a letter.  A few years ago my husband and I agreed to write a love letter for each other’s birthday.  I think I picked it up from a magazine article about Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise.  Apparently it’s something they used to do in lieu of expensive presents.  Obviously it didn’t work for their marriage but we’ve found it has become the part of our birthday celebrations that we enjoy the most.  

Writing down all the things that you love about the other person and then giving it to them is a very personal and thoughtful thing to do.  In many cases its better than any gift you could possibly imagine and something to appreciate and cherish even when the birthday is a distant memory.  You can do it for your children too if you have any and they will never need to doubt that you love them.   Of course, you don’t have to wait until it is your loved ones birthday to send them a letter – anytime is a good time to tell them how you feel about them.

2. Sit down and talk about your day.  When we can we sit down at the table to eat our evening meal and take it in turns to talk about what we did in our day.  Even our two and a half year old joins in.  For a long time he would talk about who he saw rather than what he did but now he’s getting the hang of it.  The other thing we take it in turns to do is name the best and worst things that happened that day.  Sometimes so much happens each day that it helps to pause and reflect on what were the highlights and lowlights.

3. Celebrate all your partner’s successes with them – from a high five to a glass of champagne.  Whatever the scale of the success calls for, make it a joint celebration.  

4. Allow yourself to be impressed by your partner and let them know.  ‘I’m proud of you’ is something that I think everyone loves being told by someone they care about. 

5. Never underestimate the power of a hug – train your kids to hug you back.  My five year old son Jack loves hugs.  He loves giving them and getting them.  Sometimes he will spontaneously hug someone if he feels they are a bit sad, although usually he asks first if they would like ‘a Jack hug’.

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6. Send them a photo that means a lot to you and tell them why its important – you could use a Show & Tell Card.  It’s a new type of greeting card that lets you stick your photo on the front and is blank inside so you can write what you like.   Go to http://www.showandtellcards.com for more information.

7. Share an experience.  It could be a movie, a new CD, magazine article, or a short story.  Talk about what you read or saw and why you liked or disliked it.   And do it regularly.

8. Compliments.  Everyone loves getting them so never pass up the opportunity to give one of these reliable mood boosters.  You can give them in person or write them on a small piece of paper and leave them somewhere unexpected for your loved one to find.

9. Dance.  It doesn’t take long to find a great song you both enjoy, put it on and dance around the living room floor – probably 5 minutes maximum but it is a wonderful way to physically reconnect with each other in between dinner and desert or at the end of a long evening or you could make it an unusual way to start your day.  

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10. Thoughtful gestures.  Doing something unexpected, especially when you’re loved one is busy and stressed, is a lovely way to show that you understand what they are going through and that they have your support.  

Showing your partner how much you love them need not take a lot of time and you will be rewarded many times over for your effort.  Get loving today!

5 Tips To Make Her Respect You

 Respect is one of the basic human values. As it applies to people, is defined as an attitude of 

admiration or esteem for a person. This feeling is generally a result of a person's achievements. 

While all people deserve respect, not many of they receive this.

Everyone wants to be respected by others but not all of them get it. It’s important to first 

define who a respectable person is before giving respect to him. 

First of all you have to keep in mind that in order to demand respect, you will have to treat others with equal amount of respect. 

‘Respect’ is just a word, but what it means and 

what it distinguishes for us can make all the 

difference in how we observe ourselves and others 

— as well as how we relate to future 

possibilities and choices. 

Many successful relationships have been built around different political or religious believes, 

but it all boils down to respect. They are based on the belief that both partners are equal, that 

the power and control in the relationship are equally share. In a relationship, respect means 

to listening each other, valuing each other's opinions, and also understanding the other's emotions.

If you want to make you respectable by your 

girlfriend, here are some helpful tips which may use.

1. First of all it is very important to have self respect.  Treat yourself with respect. If she 

sees that you don't have any respect for yourself she might consider that she doesn't have to show 

you either, because it is not important to you at all.

2. What you give is what you take. Show respect if you want to be respectable. Everyone wants to 

be admired and appreciated. If you show your girlfriend that she is important to you, you'll 

be easily in their good graces. Be attentive, give compliments, and make her feel comfortable 

with you and content. Simply admire the person you are with and listen carefully when she talks. 

So, she'll love to spend time with you.

3. Relax. Women think men are mediocre because they have a boring personality. So, when you have 

a date with her relax and have fun so she will feel great with you, because if she finds you 

boring you may get dumped. If you make her feel good she will respect you for the funny guy you 

are, being the person who can make her smile even when she is very sad.

4. Don't lie. We all now that women don't like to be lied to. If she had caught you with a lie she 

will definitely not have any more respect for you. But, if she sees that you are sincere to her all 

the time, she will be proud of you and will show more and more respect for you.

5. Be confident and polite. Look into her eyes when she talks to you and make her feel that you 

are a person who can trust in. Show her that she can talk with you about any subject or problem 

she has and can count on your help. Don't forget to be polite, this will bring a reciprocal respect.

When you are in a relationship you must be treated with respect, which means your girlfriend 

must act like this:

- lets you feel comfortable being yourself

- is able to admit when she is wrong

- is willing to compromise

- respects your opinions, feelings and friends

- tries to resolve conflicts by talking honesty

- accepts when you’re saying no at things you don't want to do

So, take a deep look at your relationship and watch out if your girlfriend is making all this 

things for you and if not you should try this tips to make her respect you.

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How To Stop A Divorce

 Stop divorce using various marriage counseling methods  used with relationships with serious marriage problems

Divorce appears to be the new tendency in marriages these days. The entire globe appears to have jumped on the bandwagon which is endlessly being caused by split-ups in the entertainment industry. The holiness of wedlock is being sacrificed and it has turned into a marketplace for divorce- driven oblects such as divorce attorneys.

A great many people believe that obtaining a divorce is the sole means to pull out of a distressed relationship. However, as the wonderful philosopher Aristotle said, "There is always a third option." Regarding individuals that believe that obtaining a divorce is the same thing as being contented, try thinking it through again. A current study that was lead by Ms. Linda Waite of the University of Chicago disclosed that divorced individuals are not any happier. An additional even more amazing reality that was uncovered by the research is that 67% of the individuals that became distressed about their marriages later stated that they were happy in their marriages five years later. Her group additionally discovered that a preponderance of devotedly wedded pairs had undergone long durations of sadness in their unions. The distinction is that the pair remained with the relationship and discovered answers to their difficulties.

Matrimony is designed to connect the inner souls of two individuals together. The marriage loses its holiness in the complete circumstance of splitting up. There exist more methods than one to stop divorce. Listed below are a few valuable points that someone can use in trying to rescue their marriage.

-Communication is the Key Virtually all differences advance to fights as a result of the absence of communication. A few pairs merely discuss chores and projects. Maintaining an open line of communication would maintain the frankness in the relationship and prevent concealed perceptions that could prod significant emotional harm.

-There Are No Perfect Relationships The fundamental lessons of economics dictate to us that any time we remain with one thing, we are consistently excluding something else. Divorces are commonly spurred by unfaithfulness and third-party affairs. Keep in mind that no relationship is perfect. Problems between marriage partners is no reason for unfaithfulness, actually it ought to make their relationship stronger.

-Look For Assistance In case everything else does not work the way you hoped it would and you have attempted to solve the difficulty between the pair of you, seek outside help. There exist professional marriage counselors that are able to help marriage partners with problems to get back on the right track. There's no harm in seeking assistance.

Keep in mind that divorce has its penalties, which include tremendous monetary losses. Even more significantly, it taints marriage and completely finishes relationships. What it comes down to is that if there is more than sufficient love that exists within a home, divorce will not ever rear it ugly head.

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How to Flirt Effectively

How to Flirt Effectively

 Men and women flirt differently, for different reasons and expect different outcomes to the flirting. However, if you put aside that outcome and flirt just to be friendly you are opening yourself to different opportunities. You may well end up with a new lover but if that doesn’t work out you could meet someone who becomes a good friend and who knows who she might introduce you to. Keep your options open.

After you have exchanged glances and smiles across a room and you are fairly confident that SHE thinks that she might like to get to know you better, send a drink to her. But remember that ALL you are buying is a drink. Don’t expect her to fall at your feet. Sometimes it is nice just to send someone a drink, watch when she receives it and smile, then look away – look back again later to show your interest.

If you find yourself invited to her table, keep you mind on the conversation and not on getting a date with her. Most women want to know what kind of person they are going out with long before they actually go out with them. Make an effort to get to know her and give her the opportunity to get to know you before diving in for a date.

Do not ever approach two women in the same group. No woman wants to feel like second best. Refrain from approaching one after another in the same group. You look like a loser and the women may think you are desperate and looking for any port in a storm. Even if you are, don’t show it.

When you compliment a woman make certain that it is a genuine compliment. There’s nothing worse than someone giving out a load of overblown lines. Everyone has something great about them, notice that and compliment them genuinely.

Do not ever put your hands on a woman uninvited. Some women have no objection to ‘touchy feely’ encounters, others are horrified by it. Respect the person until you have had the opportunity to know more about her. Touching can be a lovely flirty action, but should be confined to the arms or resting the hand just above the arms and NOT touching, until you know more. Test the personal space by moving closer, noticing the reactions then moving back a little to remove the threat. 

Respect yourself at all times. Women always fall for men who are that little bit unreachable. Don't hover or grovel or act desperate. Think of yourself as special and know what you deserve the very best. 

 How Can I Get My Partner To Change?

How much energy do you spend trying to get what you want from your partner? Think about it for a moment - how much of your thinking time is spent on what to say to your partner to get him or her to be the way you want him or her to be?

Many of us spend a lot of time thinking about how to get what we want from our partner - how to get our partner to open up, be more caring, see us, love us, pay attention to us, spend time with us, have sex with us, and so on. We spend at lot of energy trying to get what we want from our partner because we believe that if only we do it right - behave right or say the right thing - we can have control over getting our partner to change. This illusion of having control over getting another to change keeps us stuck in behavior that not only does not work to get us what we want, but drains us of the energy we could be using to learn to take loving care of ourselves.

Make Her Crave You 

It is very hard to accept that we can’t “get” others to do what we want them to do, even if it would be good for them and for the relationship. In my counseling work with people, I frequently hear:

“How can I get my husband to read your books?’

“How can I get my wife to be more sexual?”

“How can I get my husband away from the TV to spend time with me?”

“How can I get my wife to be on time?”

“How can I get my husband to talk with me about our problems?”

“How can I get my wife to spend less money and write the checks into the checkbook?”

“How can I get my husband to clean up after himself?”

“How can I get my wife to stop being angry?”

“How can I get my husband to stop blaming me for everything?”

Everyone wants to know, “How to get my partner to change?” The truth is, you can’t.

What you can do is take your eyes off your partner and put them on yourself. You have total control to change yourself, and no control to change your partner. The question you need to be asking yourself is, “What do I need to do for my own well-being if my partner doesn’t change?”

“Do I need to stop reacting to my partner with compliance, resistance, withdrawal, blame, lectures, explanations, nagging or anger?”

How to talk to, use the power of body language, 

and other important forms of communication, 

to create and maintain long lasting attraction with the opposite sex!

These protective, controlling ways of responding to conflict will always exacerbate the conflict and make us feel badly within. The wounded part of us believes we can get love and avoid pain with these protective behaviors, but in reality it is often these behaviors that are actually causing our own pain. None of these behaviors are loving to ourselves, nor are we taking personal responsibility for our own feelings and well-being when we behave in these controlling ways.

“In what ways do I need to be more loving, caring, understanding and attentive to myself - to my own feelings?”

Often we project onto our partner the inner unhappiness that results from not taking loving care of ourselves. Instead of trying to get our partner to me more loving, open and attentive, we need to focus on being open, loving, kind and attentive with ourselves and with our partner.

“Do I need to take specific action, such as changing the way we handle money, or the way we deal with getting places on time? How can I take care of myself in these kinds of conflicts so that I don’t feel like a victim?”

Anytime we blame another for our unhappiness, we are being a victim. Moving out of being a victim means taking loving action for ourselves so we are no longer frustrated with the situation.

“Do I need to be willing to explore with my partner the underlying reasons for a lack of intimacy or sexuality? Am I willing to be open to learning with my partner, or am I stuck in just trying to control?

Opening to learning with your partner can be magical regarding creating intimacy and resolving conflict. While you cannot make your partner be open to learning, if you open to learning yourself, you might discover the power you have to change your relationship.

When you move out of seeing yourself as a victim of your partner’s behavior and into taking loving action on your own behalf, you may be surprised at the changes that occur in the relationship. Most conflict is stuck in power struggles that result from each person trying to control with some form blame, anger, resistance, withdrawal, or compliance. When you stop your end of the power struggle and start to take care of yourself, as well as open to learning with your partner, the possibility opens for great change to occur.